I Like Butt Stuff and I Cannot Lie



People always say, never say never, and we almost always think it’s bullshit, right? I’m in the same boat, however, until about two years ago, I had sworn that I would never put anything in my butt. I had even watched DP porn…kind of a lot of DP porn, but I had myself convinced that even if I was okay with watching it, I had no interest in ever experiencing it. I preached to others, like my friends, that it was normal and that the anus is an erogenous zone, while simultaneously disavowing anything to do with the practice. 

Then I started getting more involved in my kinks and other sexual interests in general (for more on that, check this out), and started thinking more and more about it. After all, I’d watched the porn, so why not try it at least once? What’s the worst thing that could happen? I don’t like it and never do it again? Seemed like a fair plan tome, so I set myself up, laid down a towel just to be safe, because even though I’d never done it I knew that anal takes a good amount of lube and I just didn’t want to make a mess on my sheets (because is there anyone who doesn’t absolutely hate washing sheets and having to remake the bed?), and I just did it. And I loved it. I had an experience that I never imagined I would enjoy and had my first anal orgasm the very first time. Sure it felt weird at first, and I had to remind myself that yes it felt a little like pooping because that’s the only other sensation I’ve ever had in that area before, but once I got past all that, it was great. 



Now that I knew I enjoyed this thing that I had been adamant I would never do, I had a new thing and I went out and bought all the necessary supplies. I got an anal douche, more lube, and butt plugs – the regular and vibrating variety. I started reading more about anal, being the sex nerd that I am I wanted to know everything there is to know about what people have done with anal, things that feel good, things that feel terrible, what to never put in your ass, etc. 

Rule Number One – never put anything in your asshole that you cannot easily get out of it. If you aren’t aware of this rule, here’s why. 

Once you stick something in there, it kind of acts like a vacuum so if what you’re using doesn’t have a handle of some sort, it’s gone. Don’t use toys without a flange in your butt; a flange is like the round base of a butt plug, or the base end of a dildo. Basically, it’s something that is wider than the widest point of the toy so that it prevents the toy from getting sucked in and stuck inside you. I’ve met people that work in ERs and can tell horror stories about things they’ve had to remove from people’s rectums…just don’t do it.

Rule Number Two – always use lube. I don’t care what you’re doing back there, the anus is not self-lubricating like a vagina and the friction will hurt if you aren’t lubricated. Don’t be shy with it, honestly, use more than you think you’d need. I promise, you’ll thank me later. 

I have gone on an interesting journey of self-discovery with each new thing that I’ve found that I’m interested in, whether it be kink, my queerness, or even my enjoyment of the one sex act I had vowed to avoid forever. You get a lot of interesting reactions from friends if they find out that you’re into “butt stuff”, even on the smallest scale. You’ll find out that a lot more people have tried it, and enjoy it, than you would have thought, and then you’ll also inevitably get the people, like I used to be that say “oh I would never do that”. 

Don’t let others discourage you from something that you may enjoy, and if you already enjoy it, don’t let other people make you feel bad about that. It’s perfectly normal, after all, it is one of your erogenous zones. Plus, anal is the great equalizer – everyone has an anus.


So I suppose the moral of this story is, don’t totally write off anal if you haven’t tried it, never say never…unless it’s to putting things in your butt without a handle.

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